The Almighty Janitor
      I'm the wise janitor. I impart knowledge and help overcome fears.
In the unlikely event I ever become president of a company, my first order of business will be to promote the janitor to executive vice president. Then I'll call him into my office and say "All right, Herb, I want you to tell me what's going on in the company. Care for a drink before we begin? I think I have a bottle of Scotch around here someplace." 
"Lower left drawer of your desk," Herb will reply, "Right behind your box of El Puffo cigars, which, I might add, are excellent." 
— Patrick McManus, The Good Samaritan Strikes Again